Play First, Hygiene Later: Getting Comfortable with Washing

This post comes from my work in supporting young people to explore hygiene products before there is any expectation to use them on their bodies. It’s a way of having fun and particularly appeals to those who need autonomy with their self-care. It can also feel very satisfying to ignore the bossy instructions on the bottle with mwuahahah evil laughs.

Let’s be honest: hygiene products can be weird.

They bubble. They squirt. They smell like ‘mountain rain or ‘moonflower’. Some of them fizz, foam, or come out like jelly. And if you’re someone whose senses go on high alert around these, or who’s had a not-so-great experience with one before, that soap bottle might as well be a wild animal.

So today, go ahead and use hygiene products ‘wrong’ on purpose. Not in an unsafe way. Just in a delightfully ridiculous, entirely safe, low-pressure kind of way.

Because before any product goes on your body, it should feel okay in your space, on your terms.

Welcome to the Hygiene Rebellion

Forget what we ‘should be’ using the product for or what the back of the bottle says for a moment. We’re going off-label. We’re looking to start building trust with hygiene items, one playful experience at a time. 

Soap the Dinosaur

Don’t want soap on your hands yet?
Soap a toy.
Give a Lego figure a bubble bath. Shampoo a rubber duck.
Narrate it like a wildlife documentary or a spa commercial.
Get silly. Laugh. Observe.

• “The brave astronaut penguin is being decontaminated after a mission to Planet Sticky”
• “This rubber duck has booked the deluxe bubble wrap facial. Five stars. Would spa again.”
• “When not chasing herbivores, T-Rex prepares for their weekly, volcanic mud spa. They prefer lavender bubbles, of course.”

Image from Canva, by Rike_ from Getty Images Signature

You may also be interested in my other hygiene blogs ‘Inside and Out: Rethinking Hygiene, Autonomy and Expression’,‘Supporting PDAers with Hygiene: A Compassionate Approach‘ and “How Do I Get Them to Shower?” Rethinking Hygiene Support in Care Roles.’

Toothpaste on a Spoon (No, Not to Eat)

You don’t have to brush your teeth with it yet.
You could start with a dab of toothpaste on a spoon or plate. Poke it. Smell it. Watch it.
See how far you can squish it. Paint with it. Give it a name.

You’re learning: What does it do when I touch it? How does it move? Can I trust this texture? This smell? What happens if I add water? You’re the lead researcher in this sensory experiment.

Image from Canva, by Akalashnikov00 from Getty Images

Lotion for Elbows-Only Club

If full-body lotioning feels like too much, join the ‘Elbows-Only Moisturiser Club’.
Your elbows can be test pilots. Or your knees. Or your sock-covered feet. Pick a part of you that feels most okay with trying something new and let it try the lotion first.

Bonus points if you interview your elbow afterwards.

The ‘Wrong Tool’ Trial

Try using a flannel to clean your hand instead of a towel. Use a toothbrush to scrub a pebble or one of your toy cars. Pour shampoo into a bowl and stir it with a spoon like you’re making alien soup. Fill a glove with soap and squish it like a jellyfish. Pretend a toilet roll tube is a telescope or use it as a marble run tunnel. 

These creative uses build curiosity, control, and familiarity. All which are crucial before we use it on ourself.

Why This Might Help

When we remove the pressure to use hygiene products ‘correctly’, we open up space for play, exploration, and trust. Especially for neurodivergent kids and anyone with a history of distress around hygiene.

You’re teaching the nervous system:

• I’m in control.
• I can stop whenever I want.
• I’m allowed to laugh, be silly and make it my own.

Final Thoughts: Play First, Wash Later

This is about play to help shift products from being mysterious strangers to familiar, funny characters in their daily routine.

So go ahead. Use that shampoo as alien goo. Give your toothpaste a hat. Draw a face on your deodorant stick.

Play is powerful. Safety comes first. Washing can come later.

If you’ve got a playful way to use a hygiene product, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Thank you for reading,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Sign up to my Newsletter Here

Connect with me on social media

BlueSky, LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Signposting and Resources:

• Inside and Out: Rethinking Hygiene, Autonomy and Expression, Blog
• Supporting PDAers with Hygiene: A Compassionate Approach’, Blog
• How Do I Get Them to Shower?” Rethinking Hygiene Support in Care Roles.’, Blog
• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People
• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food