Going to Bed for Any Other Reason Than Sleep: Taking the Pressure Off

Going to sleep is quite the transition — and for many, it’s a huge demand or pressure.

Whether it’s a parent saying, ‘Go to sleep!’ or that same command directed at ourselves, being put into bed with such a direct instruction can feel overwhelming and even counterproductive.

Sleep doesn’t always just happen on command, and for some people (children and adults alike), that direct expectation can actually make it harder.

For many, the transition to sleep can be supported by a gentler, more open-ended idea,

Going to bed for any other reason than sleep.

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When we take the pressure off sleep itself and support the sleeping space as a place for comfort, connection and calm activities, we create a softer entry into rest. This can help people ease into their own natural flow or rhythm, which often prepares them for sleep — without making it the immediate goal.

This could look like:

• Listening to a podcast
• Playing soft music
• Doodling in a notebook
• Having a quiet chat with someone in the household
• Enjoying a bedtime snack
• Reading a book or magazine
• Trying a guided relaxation or meditation
• Watching gentle light projections on the ceiling

Snuggling into bed for a cozy read, having a giggle with a sibling, or listening to something soothing can transform bedtime into a welcoming experience — rather than a pressured task.

By reframing what “going to bed” means, we can help reduce resistance, ease anxiety and ultimately increase sleep acceptance. Because sleep isn’t just about closing your eyes — it’s about feeling safe, comfortable, and ready to drift off when your body and mind are ready.

Have you found any strategies that work well for supporting your or your young person’s evening and sleep?

Thank you for reading,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

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References and Resources

• Sleep Misfits: The reality of Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome & Non-24, Book Compiled by Sally Cat
• The Need for Co-regulation Doesn’t Stop at Night, Blog
• DSPS (delayed sleep phase syndrome), Facebook group
• DSPS (Delayed-Sleep-Phase-Syndrome) and Non 24 Hour Family Support Group, Facebook group