There are lots of phrases we use when talking about puberty without really thinking about them. “Your voice is breaking” is a good example. This phrase came up in a recent puberty workshop, and it got us all thinking about how some of the everyday language we use might sound to a young person. Most adults know exactly what “your voice is breaking” means, but it can sound quite alarming. Is something wrong with their voice? Has it broken? Will it stop working?
What is actually happening is that their voice is deepening and changing as their body grows. It may sound higher or lower while it changes, but nothing is broken.
Image from Canva by ChristianChan from Getty Images Pro
You may also be interested in some of my other puberty related blogs such as ‘Webinar Recording: Not Just Clean: Rethinking Hygiene as an Equity Issue’, ‘Play First, Hygiene Later: Getting Comfortable with Washing and ‘Inside and Out: Rethinking Hygiene, Autonomy and Expression’
This is one reason I think it’s worth taking a moment to think about the language we use when explaining puberty. Familiar phrases aren’t always clear phrases. When someone’s body is already doing lots of unfamiliar things, knowing exactly what is happening can make those changes feel much more manageable.
We can still use everyday language, but it helps to explain what we mean. Instead of saying, “Your voice is breaking,” we might say, “Your voice is getting deeper. Sometimes it might sound different while it is changing, and that’s a normal part of puberty.” Instead of “you’re shooting up,” we can simply say, “You’re growing taller quite quickly.”
This isn’t about making conversations about puberty overly clinical. It’s about being clear and concrete, particularly when we are talking to young people who may take our words very literally.
Puberty already brings enough unfamiliar changes. Sometimes, saying exactly what is happening is the most reassuring thing we can do.
Thank you for being here,
Laura Hellfeld
RN, MSN, PHN, CNL
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Signposting and Resources
- Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People
- Belonging First: Building Connection and Trust in the Primary Classroom
- Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People
- Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food
- Webinar Recording: Not Just Clean: Rethinking Hygiene as an Equity Issue, Webinar
- Play First, Hygiene Later: Getting Comfortable with Washing, Blog
- Inside and Out: Rethinking Hygiene, Autonomy and Expression, Blog
Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.
Last modified: 31 August 2026