Autistic Burnout and the Mismatch of Support

Autistic burnout is a state of extreme exhaustion. The exhaustion of someone’s physical, emotional and cognitive states resulting from prolonged masking, sensory overload and navigating a world that is not designed for neurodivergent people (Raymaker et al., 2020; Endow, 2016). It often leads to a temporary loss of skills, reduced ability to function and take care of yourself and deep distress. Despite this, many Autistic young people find themselves subjected to increased pressures by school systems to maintain attendance and sometimes increased behavioural interventions at precisely the time when they need rest, understanding and genuine support.

You may be interested in reading my open letter to Bridget Phillipson (Secretary of State, Education) or have interest in adding your signature to the petition.

Common Experiences in Burnout

• Reduced or stopped speaking (may rely more on AAC* or texting)
• Difficulty with personal hygiene (tasks like showering and brushing teeth feel overwhelming)
• Appears uninterested in social interaction (withdraws from conversations, avoids people)
• Increased sensory sensitivity (previously manageable sounds, lights, or textures become unbearable)
• Struggles with eating and/or sleeping (loss of appetite, food aversions)
• Struggles with sleep (insomnia or excessive sleep for example)
• More distress behaviours and shutdowns (increased meltdowns, shutdowns or difficulty regulating emotions)
• Executive function struggles (difficulty starting or completing tasks, increased forgetfulness)
• Feeling physically and mentally exhausted (even small tasks feel draining)
• Loss of previously mastered skills (struggles with daily tasks they could do before)
• Increased anxiety and overwhelm (constant state of stress or panic)
• Flat or muted emotions (difficulty feeling joy or connection, emotional numbness)
• Increased reliance on deep interests or stimming (as a coping mechanism)
• Physical pain or illness-like symptoms (headaches, muscle aches, nausea)
• Extreme need for solitude and quiet (seeking dark, quiet spaces to recover)

*AAC stands for Augmentative and Alternative Communication, which are ways people use to communicate besides talking (verbal speech). You may want to check out my AAC resource blog.

The Fundamental Mismatch

When an Autistic person is in burnout, their nervous system is overwhelmed. The strategies that may have previously helped them cope like masking, social scripts, executive function supports may no longer be accessible. In this state, their ability to regulate emotions, communicate and participate in everyday activities is greatly diminished.

For us adults, if we saw a friend of ours experiencing this, most of us would respond with…

“I think my friend is having a hard time. I’m going to drop off a meal.”

“I know it’s hard to ask for help, so I’ll offer something specific—’Can I pick up groceries for you?”

“I’ll remind them that rest is okay and they don’t have to ‘keep up’ with everything.”

But, for our young people, the response by others is all too often the opposite. It’s not uncommon for school staff or practitioners unfamiliar with burnout to describe the Autistic young person as ‘refusing to engage’. They are often given unexcused absences and their parents are described as ‘too soft’ and ‘enabling’. The assumption might be that they need more reinforcement or more structured interventions. In addition, I see continued recommendations for removal or strict controls around regulating devices like screens and a lot of parenting advice that supports ‘tough love’ treatment and withholding comfort. However, this approach fails to recognise the core issue: burnout is not a behavioural problem. It is a physiological and psychological state of depletion.

Why Behaviourist Strategies Can Be Harmful in Burnout

1. Misinterpreting Needs as Noncompliance
   In burnout, an Autistic person may struggle to engage in activities they previously managed. A behaviourist approach might view this as noncompliance rather than recognising the underlying exhaustion and distress.
2. Adding to Sensory and Cognitive Overload
   Increased demands, more structured tasks and additional reinforcement strategies can intensify an already overwhelming situation, exacerbating burnout rather than alleviating it.
3. Masking and Long-Term Harm
   Behaviourist approaches often encourage masking like suppressing Autistic traits to fit neurotypical expectations. Masking is a significant contributor to Autistic burnout in the first place, and increasing it in times of crisis only worsens long-term mental health outcomes.
4. Ignoring the Need for Rest and Recovery
   Burnout recovery requires rest, reduced demands and environments that support sensory and emotional regulation. Interventions that prioritise continued participation in tasks, directly contradicts these needs.

What the Autistic person actually needs is downtime & time to recover.

DEEP REST

What Should Be Done Instead?

1. Prioritise Rest and Sensory Regulation
   Remove unnecessary demands, create low-demand environments and support time for recovery.
2. Listen to the Autistic Person
   If the person can communicate their needs, listen to them. If they cannot, observe their cues to guide your support.
3. Use a Supportive Approach
   Focus on accommodations that reduce stress such as adjusting the environment, offering preferred activities and providing sensory tools.
4. Educate Caregivers and Professionals
   Many professionals and caregivers are taught to address behaviours rather than the underlying reasons behind them. A shift in mindset is crucial to offering appropriate support during burnout.
   • If you are reading this before May 17th 2025, The Autistic Burnout Network has organised an online, Autistic Burnout Conference. Link to purchase a ticket is here. This conference is for professionals, identifying individuals, parents and carers.

Conclusion

This disconnect of support is one of the reasons why it is so critically important that more professionals like healthcare workers, school staff and CAMHS (Children & Adolescent Mental Health Services) receive training in what is Autistic burnout & how to give affirming care.

Autistic burnout isn’t something that can be ‘pushed through’ or solved with willpower. The most important step toward recovery is rest—true, meaningful rest that allows the nervous system to reset. Support from those around us can make a huge difference, whether that’s practical help or understanding.

Burnout isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign that something needs to change. Prioritising rest and reducing demands is necessary for self-care and necessary for long-term well-being.

Thank you for reading,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

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References and Resources

Autistic Burnout Network Conference, May 17th 2025

Distress Language: How to Tune into What Your Child Can’t Say, Blog

Endow, J. (2016). Autistically Thriving: Reading Comprehension, Conversational Engagement, and Living a Self-Determined Life Based on Autistic Neurology. Cambridge Book Review Press.

Raymaker, D. M., et al. (2020). “Autistic burnout: An exploratory study.” Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), 132-143.