Ditch the Expectations and Meet Your Needs
Jade Farrington
This December, Autistic Revolution (AR) warmly welcomed community members to our winter holiday gathering. It was a time to connect with community, share conversations about how to accommodate ourselves during this busy season and enjoy the warmth of togetherness. We were also treated to a musical interlude with original piano music by a young community member and gently finished the session with somatic self-care.
Background
While Autistic Revolution is a magazine, we see it more as an invitation of community. We know the importance of being able to spend time together in fun, leisure or learning – or perhaps a mix of all three!
Our December Community Event was co-hosted by AR’s Editor Jenny Loughran and one of AR’s Associate Editors, Laura Hellfeld. We were excited to welcome Jade Farrington to also co-host this winter event. And since ‘the more the merrier’, we were delighted to have Teo of SENDwise Hub on to discuss her post-holiday resource and also Courtney Freedman-Thompson of Chameleon Coaching to guide somatic self-care.
The invitation to Jade was extended as our time together was also inspired by her recent ebook ‘A Community Guide to a Happy Neurodivergent Christmas’.
What is A Community Guide to a Happy Neurodivergent Christmas?
As written by Jade Farrington
If Christmas is a struggle, this brand new guide is here to help you ditch the expectations and meet your needs by doing things your way.
It includes a diverse range of ideas and experiences, meaning there’s hopefully something of relevance to almost everyone.
It starts with a general overview of some of the considerations you might like to make, and is then packed with real-life examples of how neurodivergent people tailor their Christmases to meet their needs.
Sign up to receive your free copy here
The Session
Let’s create a welcoming space to relax, reflect, and celebrate the season in good company.
Show and Tell
We began with a community show-and-tell, a welcoming activity to help everyone ease into the event, share something meaningful and start building connections right away.
Of the items shared were crocheted star ornaments, a plushie Christmas tree, water colour Christmas cards and festive blankets.
Time for Music
It was a joy to reconnect with William, a young community member, and hear his self-taught piano music. William has generously performed for multiple of AR’s community events. Each time attendants are in awe of his heartfelt and emotional compositions that showcase his incredible talent and creativity.
It worked best for this event to listen to William’s music that was recorded for the album Wavelength a project with Quench Arts. William’s music are tracks 5, 9 and 20. During the event, we listened to track 9 ‘Luminescent Nocturne’.
Attendant feedback while listening to William’s music
- ‘Absolutely beautiful’
- ‘B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.’
- ‘Epic’
- ‘Light and hope…what a talent, wow, this piece is absolutely beautiful’
- ‘It has an ebb and flow to it, very soothing’
- ‘Extremely talented’
In Conversation with Jade Farrington
Next, we transitioned to a conversation led by Jade, who shared the inspiration behind creating ‘A Community Guide to a Happy Neurodivergent Christmas’. She spoke candidly about how the holiday season hasn’t always been full of cheer for her and emphasized the need for accommodations to make it enjoyable for herself and now her family.
The project started out to be a short, quick guide but quickly grew after reaching out to other community members who then added in their ideas across a range of topics like pacing holiday activities, sensory needs, food and eating. The guide evolved into an information-packed ebook.
Attendants also shared insights into how they are approaching the festive season and here are some of the themes discussed
- By having boundaries, we are modelling to our children that it’s ok to say ‘no’
- You can hear all of the invitations and then decide on like two to attend and politely decline the others
- Using scripts like ‘I need this…to be comfortable, to be able to attend, to enjoy can be helpful in advocating for yourself
- Bring the tools you need to the group gathering like screens and fidgets
- Advocating for your child during this time gives them the message that you value their mental health
- Boundaries aren’t just for adults
- It’s ok to stop pushing through and take a break
“Boundaries are not seasonal!” Teo
A Short Guide On How To Transition Back to Life After The Festive Season
In attendance was Teo of SENDwise Hub who wrote a thoughtful guide on transitioning back to everyday life after the holidays, emphasising that planning for this adjustment is just as important as creating accommodations to support neurodivergent needs during the holiday season.
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCE HERE
What Teo Has to Say About ‘A Short Guide On How To Transition Back to Life After The Festive Season‘
‘The transition into the festive season feels quite gradual, whereas it’s over in a flash and we’re all meant to go back to normal.
How do we manage this transition back to life as smoothly as possible? How do we work on preventing further overwhelm, resetting our nervous systems and honouring our needs?
This short guide on how to transition back to life after the festive season helps you do just that! 5 pages of practical suggestions that you can put into place!
I hope you find it useful and please share it far and wide!’
Somatic Self-Care
We were fortunate to gently wind down our session with somatic self-care led by Courtney. A familiar face in our community, Courtney has previously provided transformative workshops on somatic practices, and we were thrilled to have her join us again. She began with a grounding check-in, inviting us to reflect on how we were feeling, consider our energy levels, and listen to the messages our bodies might be communicating.
Courtney then guided us through a series of somatic exercises, inviting us to gently connect with our bodies. These included self-touch on our arms and legs, butterfly hugs across our chest and arms, and a calming breathing technique involving a double inhale followed by a long exhale. The session concluded with a self-compassion hold, placing one hand on our forehead and the other at the base of our head. Courtney thoughtfully reminded us that what feels supportive can vary day to day, encouraging us to honour our needs in the moment.
Jill Holly of Neurodiversity University reflected that “Doing this in safety is very different to being told ‘do this and you’ll be better”.
After the somatic self-care session, attendees shared that they felt deeply relaxed and as if they were floating on clouds, a perfect way to end our gathering.
If you would like to read more about our past event of somatic self-care with Courtney, please follow this link to the blog.
Attendant Feedback
‘Thank you so much for hosting such a wonderful evening tonight. I’ve only attended 2 of your events now, but each time leave the group feeling heard, understood and supported. Your work with AR is vital for both neurodivergent adults and parents of neurodivergent children.
As a late diagnosed AuDHDer, life has been somewhat isolating with a sense of ‘not knowing my place’. So finding little pockets like yours where my experiences mirror others, no questions feel silly, and I can just ‘be’ is so very important. I can’t wait to attend more. Thank you so much.’ Catherine
‘Thank you for a lovely Holiday Event this evening.
Such a lovely community feel, something I rarely get anywhere else like this as I am mostly online for training events and more formal occassions. It is so nice to just be able to relax and meet people.
I loved the resources shared with Jade’s ND Book and through SENDWise – really useful and I will be sharing widely.
Thanks again for the opportunity given to my son to play again too. I am glad we had a backup of his CD to play, but it is also really nice knowing you genuinely do get what ND family life is like, and it is such a relief to know you understand PDA and low demand, too – thank you! It meant he was able to share in a way he felt comfortable and that helps build trust again with adults too as he has loved playing live in previous events with you so thank you.
Thanks again. I hope you have a lovely low-demand holiday! Helen Edgar, Autistic Realms
‘It really was fantastic . Thank you and Helen and Jenny for arranging it all. The holiday community zoom was absolutely amazing. It was so nice to be in such a fabulous group of Autistic/ AuDHD / ND people. And the session with Courtney was the first time I’ve been able to be still in a long time.’ Bobbi Elman, NeuroDivergent Autistic Experience Support
The event was a wonderful way to spend quality time in a safe, neuro-affirming space.
It brought together the voices of people that are on the same mission: making the world a better place for neurodivergent generations to come.
It was relaxed, it put no pressure on anyone and it was a collective conversation from the heart.’ Teo, SENDwise Hub
Thank You
We would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone that shared space with us. We appreciate that you set aside this time.
Thank you so much to William, our pianist for sharing your creativity and moving music with us. A huge thank you to Jade for discussing their holiday ebook and for making the information-packed resource free for the community. Another big thank you to Teo for discussing their motivation around their post-holiday guide and also making this valuable resource free to community members. We also extend a huge thank you to Courtney for providing such an inviting and comforting space so that we could practice self care.
In addition, we would like to thank all of the attendants for the wonderful conversation and mutual support.
To follow Jade’s work:
Instagram: @jadefarringtonlaunceston
TikTok: @JadeFarringtonLaunceston
Webpage: jadefarrington.com
To follow Courtney’s work:
Facebook: @chameleoncoachinguk
Instagram: @chameleoncoach
TikTok: @chameleon.coaching
Webpage: Chameleoncoaching.co.uk
To follow Teo’s work:
Facebook: Sendwise Hub
Instagram: @sendwisehub
Webpage: https://www.sendwisehub.co.uk
Thank You,
Laura Hellfeld and the Team at Autistic Revolution
Last modified: 12 December 2024